Social Media and Recovery

The world has transformed immensely since I had my eating disorder about 9/10 years ago. I think about the number of ways a modern woman can be scrutinized over her looks, and it astounds me to think of the social media platforms that now exist that enable men and women with eating disorders.

Instagram, for example, didn't exist when I was a model. Back in the 00's, other models and I would sit in our living room, googling our names to see who had been posting about us online on various social message boards. On thefashionspot.com, there was even an entire thread dedicated to gossiping about the weight of different models- from weight gain to weight loss, including photos. This thread would get brutal. I remember comparing my body shape and size to the models on this thread, aiming to have a more sleek, linear look to match the photos of the models I idolized.  Back then, the original "social influencers" were bloggers who produced actual written content. These were the people invited to fashion shows and featured in magazines. Now there is a subtle or not-so-subtle amount narcissism that social influencers seem to all have that didn't exist back then.

I couldn't imagine how Instagram would have fed my eating disorder. In many ways, Instagram has helped models become their own managers, which is pretty amazing. Your entire account is like a personal modeling portfolio that every photographer, stylist and designer can view and use to book you directly. It's made models more accessible, but it's also changed the way a model's success is measured. Obviously, a fashion label will want to work with a model who has 200k followers over one with 500, no matter how uniquely beautiful the latter is.

I think of what's accessible now. For instance there are toxic hashtags like #transformationtuesday or #fitspiration that can lead a sick person down a dark rabbit hole of "thinspiration."There are filters that obscure the visual truth, and even apps to subtly (or not so subtly) make your waistline thinner or your jawline stronger. We even have entire blogs dedicated to food, that girls who are starving themselves can (figuratively) devour.

We also have Facebook Live, which in my opinion, is the most annoying feature out there. Aspiring fitness coaches (who seem to over-obsess with their meals and bodies publicly) post videos listing their diet plans and expressing their guilt when it goes awry. They're friends who are oblivious to the symptoms of eating disorders congratulate them on the weightless and discipline. These sick people encounter positive reinforcement daily and are championed by their peers to keep up the "good work." For those of you who are currently struggling and watch the videos, are they a trigger source or do they amplify your strength in knowing that you're not alone in this fight?

These are all questions I need to sift through. If you have any opinions or stories about social media use and eating disorders, please feel free to share them with me at margaretjmccabe@gmail.com.

xoxo

Meg

PS- Day 3 is complete!