What helped me recover

(A Recollection)

As I mentioned in my first post, this blog is meant to help those who are struggling with eating disorders and poor body image.  By reflecting on my own experiences and taking the time to learn and collect information, I hope to gain clarity on the recovery process and hopefully develop theories and practises that are applicable to helping many men and women heal. I plan to get my LCSW and develop my own therapy/coaching practice that specializes in eating disorder recovery, body kindness and self esteem.

Here are a few things I did that helped me recover- perhaps you could apply one or two to your own healing process and see if they help you too.

1) I removed myself from a toxic environment. In 2009 I quit modeling altogether. I moved out of the model apartment in New York City and back home with my parents. By no longer living in the model apartment I was no longer surrounded by the unrealistic body standards of the fashion industry and there were no models to constantly compare myself to. 

How might this help you? Ask yourself: Am I existing in a toxic environment for my recovery? If so, How can I remove myself from this environment and where can I go instead?

2) I opened up to others about my experience. Having an eating disorder can be shameful and it's tempting to keep it secret. When I started to verbally admit to or even just elude to the fact I had a disorder my recovery felt more real and obtainable. Hearing people react and respond to my stories gave the experience a bit more reality, and the reactions reinforced that choosing recovery was the right thing to do. 

How might this help you? Ask yourself: Have I opened up about my experiences yet? Who might I want to open up to? How do people respond when I share my experiences with them?

On a side note- you do not have to open up about your experiences to the most important people in your life first. The first time I verbally admitted to having an eating disorder was to a co-worker I was hostessing at a restaurant with. I had known her for two weeks, tops. In retrospect, this disclosure felt very light and matter of fact and made future disclosures less terrifying.

3) I went to therapy. This feels like an obvious path to recovery, but many people choose not to go to therapy. I know several girls who have not been to therapy for their disorders and they still have disorders. I found a therapist who specialized in eating disorders. I cried a ton, but I also started to own my narrative and rebuild confidence. I went to therapy weekly for 3-4 months and I can honestly say I do not think I would have recovered without it.

How might this help you? Ask yourself: Do I have access to therapy? Where can I go to get help? Try reaching out to a few therapists in your area. If you do not have access to affordable counseling you could try an online resource, such as 7 Cups of Tea.

4) I fell in love. I owe much of my recovery to falling in love. Additionally, being sexually active for the first time helped me connect to my body in a new way and I developed a deeper appreciation for my body. Having a boyfriend who "didn't give a flying fuck" (direct quote) about my perceived body "flaws" was the most needed reality check in the world. Allowing someone else to love my body on a physical level gave me a new confidence in my body I had never had.

I'm not saying "go seek external validation." No, a person does not need external validation to recover. For my unique experience, having someone love my body post- recovery weight felt amazing and turned into a piece of lasting personal evidence that my body was acceptable, attractive and powerful.

How might this help you? Ask yourself: How specifically does my body serve me in a positive way? What proof do I have that my body is powerful? Who completely supports my recovery process?

Please feel free to send me your list! I will be happy to hear from you at margaretjmccabe@gmail.com.

xox

Meggasus